Oxford University Association Football Club

Biography

A childhood friend of the rap musician Dylan Mills, Thomas played his early football on Hackney marshes, the legendary breeding ground of so much English footballing talent. At the age of 17, he was informed by his mother that a letter had arrived from Hackney offering him a four year deal. Understandably delighted at the opportunity to join East London's leading non-league team, Thomas signed and returned the forms immediately. Several weeks later, however, it emerged that an error had been made. What he had actually signed was an acceptance of an offer to study French and Portuguese at Wadham College, Oxford, made by the sub-Warden, Mr Jeffrey Hackney.

Despite Edwin's tertiary education only extending to a GNVQ (Intermediate) in Electronics, the Thomas family decided that this unexpected opportunity should be taken, and so it transpired that he made his debut for Wadham in October 2005. Much had been made of Thomas' impressive footballing pedigree in the local press (his uncle is former Arsenal midfielder Michael Thomas). However, the Wadham fans initially found this hard to credit, it being widely suggested that they had actually picked up a distant descendant of World Cup winner Alan Ball.

Having struggled with the physicality of JCR Division 1 in 2006/7, Thomas was loaned out by Wadham to regain some confidence in the less demanding environment of the French leagues. Reports of his apparent success were greeted in a similar fashion to those emanating from Olympique Marseilles in 1995 regarding the rumoured transformation of Tony Cascarino from donkey to superstar.

Forced to recall Thomas due to an injury crisis in mid-November, Wadham were able to witness this apparent metamorphosis at first hand when he resumed his place in the centre of midfield for the Second Round Cup tie against St Annes. He developed cramp after 55 minutes.

Ever perceptive in his footballing analysis, and understandably keen to make a contribution to the team cause (possibly aware that the Opta Index recorded him as having covered just 65 metres during extra time), Thomas then informed his colleagues that the imminent penalty shoot-out was "where the game will be won and lost, lads".

Despite his average first touch, questionable stamina and penchant for outrageous casual clothing, the French fans have taken Thomas to their hearts, affectionately nicknaming him "le gimp".